It's Aggression That's the Better Part of Valor, Right?:

- after Francisco Cordero walked two batters in the ninth inning to help load the bases with nobody out and a two-run lead, Marlins #3 hitter Gaby Sanchez swung at the first pitch he saw and grounded into a double play. Then cleanup hitter Dan Uggla also swung at the first pitch he saw (that's with two outs and the tying run at third, remember), popping out to end the game. Interim Florida manager Edwin Gonzalez defended both hitters with the usual "You have to be aggressive in that spot" blather because hey, the last thing you want to do is let a struggling pitcher dig his hole any deeper.

Early 2000s Nostalgia Department:

- Todd Helton hit his first Coors Field home run of the season.

Clean Slates Department:

- Roy Halladay wins his 15th, tossing eight shutout innings and striking out seven.
- Jon Lester won his 13th behind eight shutout innings of his own, striking out five, despite a queasy stomach.
- Ted Lilly only threw six shutout innings and merely struck out four, but that's still good enough for the win.
- Brian Duensing topped them all though with a three-hit shutout. Yes, I said Brian Duensing.

Young Guns Department:

- Bud Norris struck out 14 batters, tying Stephen Strasburg and Max Scherzer for the second-best K game of the season behind Brandon Morrow's 17. Scherzer and Morrow are the oldest of the bunch at 26 (they were actually born a day apart in July of '84), while Norris is 25 and Strasburg is 22, and all of them need to get off my damn lawn.

Tools of Ignorance Department:

- Bobby Wilson, hitting eighth, homered twice and had five RBI. Hooray for second cleanup!
- Josh Bard went 4-for-5 with a grand slam on his daughter's fourth birthday. All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
- Kelly Shoppach also homered twice, including a grand slam, because it was apparently "Give the Backup Catchers Batting Practice Fastballs" night across MLB. Sheesh.

Notables:

- Ryan Braun went 3-for-5 with two doubles, popping his August line so far to .442/.500/.512. As that SLG shows though he still has yet to homer in the month, and in fact hasn't hit one out since July 24.
- Hideki Matsui, hitting seventh for Anaheim against a lefty, went 4-for-4 with a double, a home run, three runs scoredd and two RBI. The Angels would probably still rather have Vladdy back though.
- Colby Lewis gave up one run and struck out nine over 6.2 innings, but was facing Lester and took the loss.
- Trevor Cahill gave up one run over seven, striking out five, but also took the loss. He now shares a completely ridiculous major league record with Nolan Ryan: most consecutive starts (20, to be precise) of 5+ innings and six or fewer hits allowed. Expect a parade and some light rioting in Oakland if he sets a new mark.
- Ian Kennedy struck out seven, walked one, and gave up two runs over seven innings for the win.
- Matt Latos struck out nine over six innings in his no-decision.
- Edwin Jackson struck out 11 over seven strong (one run, five hits, three walks) but got stuck with a no-decision.
- Miguel Montero homered twice, giving him four jacks in his last four games.
- Alex Rodriguez homered thrice!, a feat that had never before been accomplished in the majors prior to the Icky Steroid Era. Rumor has it the media is going to boycott the 2011 season entirely in a fit of pique, and just re-report the 1970 season instead. Expect some glowing accounts of Dock Ellis' no-no.

Save Chances:

- Francisco Cordero, converted (31). Another ugly one - see above.
- Carlos Marmol, converted (20). Struck out two and gave up a hit in 1.2 shutout innings.
- Hong-Chih Kuo, converted (4). He struck out two in a perfect inning, was popping 98 mph with his fastball, and succeeded in making a lot of Jonathan Broxton owners very sad.
- Brandon Lyon, converted (4). One hit and a K in a scoreless inning as Matt Lindstrom deals with his back woes.
- Felix Doubront, converted (1). With Jonathan Papelbon and Daniel Bard both declared 'not available' by Terry Francona, Doubront got the final two outs, striking out one, for his first big league save.
- JJ Putz, blown (2). He struck out the side, but coughed up a two-run shot to Alex Avila in between. Too bad he doesn't have a last name that would be easy to mock in situations like this.

Other Closer Outings:

- John Axford worked a scoreless ninth and 10th, giving up two hits and a walk and striking out one, to get the win.
- Huston Street also worked the ninth and 10th in the same game but had less success, allowing three hits and two walks (not to mention the winning run). He's been miserable when he's been asked to pitch on consecutive days since coming off the DL, and the Rox might have to consider giving a Matt Belisle or the like some save chances in those situations rather than running Street back out there.
- Francisco Rodriguez was back on the mound, giving up a hit in a scoreless ninth inning with the Mets down by four. Oh, and he got booed, because everyone knows New Yorkers love their father-in-laws.
- Brian Wilson pitched a scoreless ninth in a tie game, with a single hit, walk and strikeout.
- Alfredo Simon gave up one of those Shoppach home runs in the eighth inning, with the O's down by three at the time.

Non-Closer Outings:

- Octavio Dotel struck out two in 1.1 perfect innings of set-up work in front of Kuo. Broxton did not even enter the game.
- Matt Thornton gave up a hit and struck out one pitching a scoreless eighth to set up Putz.
- Mike McClendon threw three perfect innings of relief, striking out two, in his big league debut.

Tough Days:

- Brett Cecil got smacked around for seven runs on 10 hits, including three home runs. He hadn't pitched in nine days, but still couldn't break 90 mph with his fastball, routinely sitting in the mid-80s. The Jays say they aren't concerned about it... yet.
- Pedro Alvarez sported a very fashionable Golden Sombrero during Norris' 14-K game.
- Mitch Talbot camme off the DL and got roughed up for six runs (four earned) in just four innings on eight hits and three walks.
- Jason Marquis also sucked, giving up five runs on seven hits including three home runs in four innings. He now has an ERA on the season of 14.33.
- Brennan Boesch, who's supply of magic pixie dust is getting critically low, also wore the Golden Sombrero by striking out all four times he was at the plate.
- Brian Matusz lost his 12th game, giving up five runs on nine hits over four innings.

Injuries:

- Nelson Cruz, overdue for his regular maintenance, left the game in the seventh inning with tightness in his left hamstring.

Home Runs:

- Dan Uggla (27), Josh Hamilton (26), Ryan Zimmerman (23), Alex Rodriguez 3 (21), Kelly Johnson (18), AdamJones (17), Garrett Jones (17), Aramis Ramirez (17), Hunter Pence (16), Russell Branyan (15), Hideki Matsui (15), Drew Stubbs (15), Derrek Lee (14), Jorge Posada (13), Curtis Granderson (11), Jayson Nix (9), Casey Kotchman (8), Fred Lewis (8), Miguel Montero 2 (8), Pablo Sandoval (8), Carlos Guillen (6), Alex Aliva (5), Wilson Betemit (5), Wes Helms (4), Todd Helton (4), Bobby Wilson 2 (4), Josh Bard (3), Gerardo Parra (3), Kelly Shoppach 2 (3)

Stolen Bases:

- Juan Pierre (45), Rajai Davis (36), Andrew McCutchen (24), Franklin Gutierrez (17), Ian Desmond (13), Derek Jeter (13), Ronny Cedeno (11), Jamey Carroll (9), Jerry Hairston (9), Joey Votto (9), Cesar Izturis (8), David Murphy (8), Jose Bautista (5), Michael Cuddyer (5), Bill Hall (5), Omar Infante (5), Nick Markakis (5), Brian McCann (5), Brian Roberts (5), Eric Young Jr. (5), Asdrubal Cabrera (4), Alex Rodriguez (4), Jorge Posada (2), Craig Counsell (1)

Caught Stealing:

- Scott Podsednik (14), Starlin Castro (5), Vlad Guerrero (5), Andres Blanco (2), Ryan Raburn (2)