This article is part of our Thunderbastard series.
For fans of the Premier League, there is nothing better than the non-stop action that comes with the holiday season. With most teams playing on both Dec. 26 (Boxing Day) and Dec. 28, rosters and depth are tested more than any other time in the year. This condensed stretch of games that occur over the last couple weeks of December often plays a pivotal role in deciding everything from the Premier League champion to what teams will be fighting to avoid relegation. More importantly than any of that, this stretch of games also has the tendency to play havoc with your fantasy lineups and strategy.
So, with the help of same famous Brits, I offer you these pieces of fantasy wisdom:
Hugh Grant and Love Actually
Statistics show that there is an 87 percent likelihood that your significant other will sit you down and have you watch this romantic comedy over the holiday season (of course, if the tradeoff is that you can sit and watch all of Chelsea v. West Ham and Tottenham v. Manchester United, then a two-hour Hugh Grant movie might be worth it!).
When many people think of this movie, they naturally think of Mr. Grant; however, Hugh is an avowed Fulham fan and as you know, there are no Premier League games being played at Craven Cottage this season. So for Love Actually fantasy advice we will actually go to two other English cast members: Bill Nighy (he played Billy Mack, the aging rock star) and Keira Knightley (she played Juliet and is actually a good reason to watch the movie). Both Keira and Bill are West Ham fans and understand that though the Hammers have tough games with Chelsea and Arsenal coming up, they have one of the most consistent fantasy performers on their team, as Stewart Downing has solidified himself as a solid fantasy option. Downing has 32 fantasy points (in the official Premier League game) in the last four weeks and is second in the EPL -- behind only Cesc Fabergas) in key passes per game with 3.3. For £6.4m he is a solid play, even against top flight competition.
Besides Downing, you should still consider riding this Andy Carroll hot streak. His 29 points in his last four fixtures makes him a top-ten option up front. Plus his last name is Carroll, which is a lot like Christmas Carol…so that must mean something!
Jesse J -- Masterpiece
One of my seven-year-old daughter's favorite songs is Masterpiece (and with lyrics like "Blah blah that la la, that rah rah sh" who can blame her?) by London-born singer Jesse J. According to Wikipedia (which must be right), besides singing, Jesse is a big Tottenham fan. So in honor of Ms. J, here is my best piece of Spurs-related advice: get Harry Kane in your lineup. In seven Premier League appearances, Kane has four goals and an assist while averaging 2.6 shots per game, with his strength in the air making him a threat on free kicks. Besides these individual stats, consider Kane's Boxing Day opponent, Leicester City, who has not exactly set the league on fire this year. Firstly, they have not won since Sept, 21 and defensively they have allowed 29 goals (with only one clean sheet this season). Leicester gives up an average of 16.2 shots per game and there is a good chance that Kane will be able to Bang, Bang a couple of goals home (threw in another Jesse J reference there). For £5.2m, Kane makes a lot of sense for your Boxing Day lineup.
Daniel Craig as James Bond
Did you know that the current Mr. Bond is a huge Liverpool supporter?!?!? Well, it hasn't been easy to be a fan of the Reds this season, and it has been just as hard to rely on any one member of the squad for fantasy help. The likeliest candidate to put up big fantasy numbers is Raheem Sterling. However, Sterling's inability to find the back of the net (and he seems to get an awful lot of good chances) is concerning, as is that fact that there tend to be a lot of good parties around the holidays, so young Mr. Sterling may not be on top of his already-struggling game. As for other Liverpool suggestions, well, the best one might be to stay away. The constant lineup changes certainly won't stop during this stretch, making the likes of Steven Gerrard, and Jordan Henderson risky bets. In other words, when it comes to Liverpool, the Dr. would say No (get it, Dr. NO).
But, if we can't offer any strong Liverpool advice, how do we honor Daniel Craig and James Bond? Time to bring in 007 or in this case No. 7. Manchester United's No. 7, Angel di Maria, who looked good in his 30 minutes against Newcastle last weekend, and there is a good chance he will see greatly increased minutes over the next fixtures. Back-to-back starts might be a lot to ask coming off injury, so be sure to monitor di Maria's playing status and get him in your starting lineups if you have the chance. He is a clear top-ten midfield option and the upcoming home matchup with Newcastle might give di Maria plenty of chances and very likely get you a fantasy Skyfall!
Elton John – I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues
First off, congrats to Sir Elton who was recently married and apparently threw one heck of a party! Elton has huge love for soccer and has been involved with the game in England for a long time; he also currently holds the role of Honorary Life President of Watford FC. Unfortunately, you need to be in some pretty serious, or crazy, fantasy leagues to need advice about who to start from the Watford starting XI. So, in this case we go to one of Sir Elton's greatest hits, I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues.
I can think of no better goalie to start over this next stretch of fixtures than Joe Hart at Manchester City (the Blues…get it?!?!?!?!?) Hart already has recorded seven clean sheets and with games coming up against West Brom and Burnley, he has a really good chance of adding to that number. Those two teams have combined for only scored 29 goals, with Burnley only scoring nine in open play. Hart and the City defense will have to be aware of West Brom's ability with set pieces (they have scored six goals off of set pieces, which is near the top in the Premier League). However, you can feel pretty safe taking this chance. Juggernauts like Man City are best situated to handle these condensed schedules, and an in-form Hart going for £6.1m seems like a great play---trust me, he won't go breaking your heart.
Today's Thunderbastard:
Still trying to get some Liverpool love for Daniel Craig (who I assume reads The Thuderbastard), so here is a Liverpool one just for him (unfortunately, it is from someone playing Fifa on their PS4):
