Thunderbastard: You Better Recognize

Thunderbastard: You Better Recognize

This article is part of our Thunderbastard series.

Happy 2015! Though it is hard to see anyone joining Chelsea and Manchester City in the race for the title this year, there will undoubtedly be multiple teams fighting for spots three and four, and plenty trying to avoid ending up in the bottom three. At the same time, this is the point where you can make or break your fantasy season….transfers, injuries, the Africa Cup, whatever it is, this is the time where you need to get your team in order.

Whether it is relying on some folks you have stashed on the bench or a productive and timely use of your wildcard, this is the month that will likely dictate your chance of fighting for your league's title!

So, in trying to think how to help you win, or at least remain in contention in your league, I turn to the late, great Mr. Stuart Scott. Though Mr. Scott obviously died too young, he still left us with some of TV's greatest catchphrases (all in quotes) and in this case, Fantasy EPL advice. Thank you Stu!

Having Cesc on your team is "like gravy on a biscuit, it's all good."

There are certain players that you don't need to worry about. It doesn't matter if they are home or away, playing a top-four team or playing Leicester City, they will help your team and you should add them if you can. Though one could argue that Chelsea has a handful of these players, I encourage you to make sure one of them is on your squad going forward: Cesc Fabregas (who, "plays his enemies like a game of chess.")

Fabergas is third in the Premier League's official fantasy game in points and will only run you £9.7m (which is a considerable bargain compared to others at the top of the rankings). He is running away with the EPL assist title with 14, six more than second-place Gylfi Sigurdsson, and is leading the league in key passes per game (3.4). Many say that Chelsea's loss to Spurs shows that their players are tired and that The Chosen One needs to alter his lineup more often; but, don't expect Fabregas' minutes to be impacted and do expect him to be a consistent force for you game in and game out.

If you just don't want to add Fabergas, you can also certainly feel "all good" about adding his teammates, John Terry and/or Eden Hazard

Hey Joe, "you ain't got to go home, but you gotta get the heck out of here."

Now is your time, these guys have been on your team, but they just aren't worth it. Figure out how to best get rid of them and give yourself a chance for the title. With a cost of £6.2m Joe Hart is the most expensive keeper in FPL. (Sure I suggested him in an earlier article, but "that is sooooo five minutes ago.") What does that price get you? Well, not as many points as six other lower-priced keepers! Though Hart is certainly an excellent goalie, you are not getting enough value for the extra money. With Arsenal and Chelsea coming up in the next few fixtures, and Man City seeming to be leaking goals (allowing six goals in the last three matches), there is no reason to waste anything extra on Mr Hart -- it is time for him to get the heck out of your lineup. Sorry Joe (I am sure he is a big fan of the ThunderBastard),"I ain't mad at ya. Got nothin' but love for ya'," but you're off my team.

If you need a cheap option to replace Hart, don't sleep on Ben Foster at West Brom. New coach Tony Pulis has a history of shoring up defenses and Foster may benefit from this with some increased fantasy points. At only £4.6m, he frees up some cash to use for Harry Kane!

Need to kick someone else out? Say so long to Gylfi Sigurdsson. His form has been down and with Wilfried Bony heading to the Africa Cup of Nations (and then possibly Manchester City), Siggy just isn't a profitable play.

"Just call Harry Kane butter, cuz he's on a roll."

There is no question, Kane is on as good of a roll as you can be. If you weren't convinced already, his performance against Chelsea should have answered all questions. Put it this way, entering Gameweek 10, Kane had a total of six fantasy points. s he enters Gameweek 21, he has 81 points and has already climbed to up to seventh for all FPL forwards. With 48 points in his last five fixtures and no opponent in the top five coming up for the next eight, there is absolutely no reason to not have Kane on your squad. His price is £5.6 and an absolute steal…right now it's Harry's world, "and we are just all payin' rent."

Fighting to stay in the EPL; but, still as "cool as the other side of the pillow."

If QPR manages to avoid a bottom-three finish, much of it will be because of the cool play of Charlie Austin, who currently has 99 fantasy points (ranking seventh of all players), which have been fueled by his 12 goals. Besides the goals, Austin is second in the Premier League with 4.1 shots per game and there is no reason to think that his scoring rate will slow down. His size (6'2") makes him a threat in the air and he has been able to score a variety of goals at this point. From a fantasy standpoint, though Austin has better numbers at home, he has still scored 25 percet of his goals on the road and looks like a good play in most fixtures. To top things off, Austin has been his best with the game on the line: seven of his 12 goals have been scored between the 60th and 90th minute. If Charlie keeps "doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well," he just might keep QPR on the right side of the relegation pillow.

"Don't hate the playa, hate the game."

Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard have made quite a bit of news this last week, with most Liverpool fans not happy about Stevie leaving to head across the pond, and NYC FC fans are disappointed that Lamps won't be the initial face of the franchise (in a really embarrassing story for MLS). Regardless of when these two will be playing their games in an MLS stadium near you (Saputo is the closest one to me, but that is a theme for another article), and regardless of what you think of their current decisions, they remain viable fantasy options.

Without a doubt, things at Anfield will be strange this last half of the EPL season. Liverpool is too good to get in any real fight for relegation; however, they just aren't good enough to really challenge for anything at the top of the table. That leaves nothing to focus on but a good stretch of Stevie G farewells. (This will give the Fenway group some practice before they have to play Big Papi's farewell year.) Rogers can't keep him on the bench and you know Stevie will get his points. Not a bad bet to store on your team.

Lampard is a similar story. He should continue to put up points for City, especially over the next few games when the Sky Blues look to replace Yaya Toure (who is off at the Africa Cup of Nations). At some point he will be playing in NYC; but, until then, Lamps may not be a bad guy to have on the fantasy roster.

These two are by no means sure things, but if you pick the right time to play them, you will undoubtedly be yelling "BOOYAH"!!!!

Today's Thunderbastard:

A phenomenal thunderbastard from Oliver Sorg that will make you say, "Vlade Daddi, he like to party. He don't cause trouble, he don't bother nobody."

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Stan Williams
Stan is head coach of the perennial state and regional powerhouse CVU High School Girls Soccer team. He's also a fantasy fanatic, emotionally involved with the USMNT, EPL, Red Sox and Steelers. Struggles to say "Wilfried Bony" without giggling.
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