Rebound & Rant: Super ‘70s Sports, Revisited

This article is part of our Rebound & Rant series.

I can think of no better time than now to check in with our old friend Ricky Cobb from the hysterical twitter feed @Super70sSports. You might recall the prior interviews we've had with the mad professor, which you can see here and here. 

Mr. Cobb's twitter feed is the equivalent of drinking scotch (Balvenie, 12 year?) while watching Caddyshack. If you ever hear me laughing from the porcelain throne, it's usually due to Mr. Cobb's profanity-laden sardonic twist on awkward photos from the '70s (and beyond). Do you remember the days of NBA short-shorts and Battle of the Network Stars? If so, I urge you to first read this funny interview and then immediately check out Professor Cobb's twitter feed.  

It was this post from a few days ago that made me realize I should get back in touch with Ricky:

And now, our third interview:

RotoWire: Ricky, congrats on the New York Post article from this summer. You've had some interesting press over the years. What's the oddest question anyone has asked you?

Ricky Cobb from @Super70sSports: This one, you weirdo. How dare you, sir? Actually, I can't think of anything too off the wall. People usually want to know how I got started, where I find material, the joke-writing process, etc.

RW:  What group of society generally does NOT get the humor of @Super70sSports?

RC:  People who take themselves too seriously and those who would prefer to never see a curse word. Often, these are the same people.

RW: Great f*cking point. I think Kyle Lowry is an underrated point guard in today's game, probably because he used to be a bit portly. I also enjoyed John "Hotplate" Williams and Mel "Donut Shop" Turpin from the old Bullets' squads. Who are your favorite overweight ballers?

RC: How can you be an NBA player and still be fat? It defies all logic, so you gotta love the rare chunker who can pull it off. I mean, it's not that easy to be a fat baseball player, and they just stand around and scratch their butt most of the time. Running the floor with MJ or Giannis? Ridiculous.

Young Charles Barkley is the best fat basketball player ever, and there is no debate. Can you imagine leading the NBA in rebounding at 6'5" AND also being fat? 

Oliver Miller was amazing because he got so hefty as his career went on. If you want one from the '70s, I love almost every photo of Bulls center Tom Boerwinkle. He always looks gassed and like he's regretting the last chocolate chip cookie. Wes Unseld also got a little thick as his career wound down, but I call him "Mr. Unseld" and shall not comment further.

(RW:  HOF-er Jo Jo White bringing the ball up here -- he was awesome and wildly underrated.)

RW: These are odd times, but a great opportunity to catch up on sports movies. Please rank your Top 5 all-time sports movies. Where does Slap Shot rank in the pantheon of sports cinema?

RC: Depends on the day you ask me. I'm a baseball movie guy, so my list skews hard in that direction. These are just my favorites, nothing more. I'll leave the serious cinematic critiques to the ghosts of Siskel and Ebert.  (click links below to see trailers)

1. The Natural
2. Major League
3. The Bad News Bears
4. Field of Dreams
5. Slap Shot/Hoosiers (tie)

Slap Shot is the best hockey movie ever, and it's so gloriously politically incorrect by today's standards that it gets more and more enjoyable for me as time passes. Ten years from now, it may be No. 1.

RW:  I really miss Johnny "Red" Kerr calling Chicago Bulls games. He was awesome and it certainly helped that the 90's Bulls were totally frickin' dominant. Got any favorite NBA announcers?

RC: My family got one of those enormous backyard satellites in the 80s, and I watched tons of NBA. Always enjoyed tuning in to the Lakers with Chick Hearn. Marv Albert just sounds like basketball and I put him on the same level as Chick. When I want expert insight, Hubie Brown is unparalleled as an analyst. And I will not miss a chance to praise Doris Burke; she's terrific.

RW:  In past interviews, we've discussed the awesome NBA uniforms of the '70s, in particular some of the sweet Cavalier uni's. Please give us two underrated NBA uniforms from the '70s.

RC:  As for underrated '70s uniforms, I'll try to go with two that really don't get mentioned much. The late '70s Warriors had a great look, and I've always been a fan of the light blue Buffalo Braves uniforms of the same period. Classy. Just like you, K-Train.

RW:  Have twitter fans finally stopped posting "This didn't happen in the '70s?" 

RC:  I've pretty much accepted that's never going to stop. I'll probably still be here in 25 years getting angrily lectured by someone over George Brett's hemorrhoids being from 1980.

RW:  Is the WNBA easy to have fun with or is it too recent?

RC:  I tend to avoid the WNBA for a few reasons. One, it is recent enough that the nostalgia factor is limited. Two, my knowledge base is pretty limited because I don't watch it. And, lastly, I think the league catches enough crap in general that teasing them feels like punching down, and I try to avoid that. But if I think of something really funny that seems fair, I'll go there.

RW:  Have you been able to post a San Diego Padres joke funnier than the Mark Lee Elton John surgery laugher?

RC:  Well, it's probably either that one or my Gary Coleman "Honey, I Shrunk Dave Winfield" tweet. I'm personally fond of the Mark Lee tweet because we made an Elton John Surgery t-shirt, and, lo and behold, Mark ordered a couple for himself and his wife! Of course, I refunded him and sent out a half-dozen more. He was so gracious and cool about the shirt and considered it an honor, which is definitely the spirit in which it was intended. Just a great guy and it was very fun to chat with him because of this tweet.

RW:  As we've discussed, I'm a big Gheorghe Muresan fan. And I'm not embarrassed to say I saw Manute Bol live for a few Bullets games. Who are your favorite all-time centers from a fun-to-watch perspective? 

RC:  Paul Mokeski is the captain of my fun-to-watch centers team. Also the captain of my NBA All-Sexy Team. Bol and Big Gheorghe are musts as well. Let's round out a starting five that no sane coach would ever let near the court with Chuck Nevitt and Granville Waiters.

RW:  We all know you love those old Houston Astros uniforms. Has the recent sign stealing scandal changed your affection for the Astros?

RC:  Man, it's just a bummer. I've always been such a huge fan of the Astrodome and tequila sunrise uniforms of the '70s and '80s. Take one look at my Twitter feed and that influence is clear in my brand's identity. But in my view, the 2017 world championship is illegitimate. My Houston heroes are Nolan Ryan, J.R. Richard, Jimmy Wynn, Bob Watson and the like. Always will be. But, yeah, throwing on Astros gear feels a little funny for now.

RW: Foresee any problems with the Raiders playing in Las Vegas? Can you picture any old time Raiders getting in trouble in Sin City?

RC:  I foresee trouble wherever Mark Davis goes. Mostly, I just sympathize with the great fans of Oakland. I'm not sure if Vegas was ready for Ken Stabler and John Matuszak, but they were sure as hell ready for it. Snake was so great, maybe they'd have won even MORE if he could hit the Strip every night.

RW:  I think the Million-Dollar-Man Action Figure with the telescopic eye was an underrated '70s toy. Thoughts?

RC:  The No. 1 action figure of the '70s. If you say Evel Knievel was better, I'll accept that. Maybe there were a few others in that top tier, but Austin was my favorite when I was a kid. But if you're serious, you'll also need Oscar Goldman and his exploding briefcase!

I want to thank Ricky for all the hilarity over the years and for chatting with us today. For those interested in fantastic Super70sSports gear, please check out Ricky's awesome on-line store. I am partial to this gray, glorious bastard.

THANK YOU, RICKY!