Don't get me wrong. My team is probably above average, and I don't expect to be buying steaks for these douchewads. Why would I? In the league's 15-year history I've had the indignity of paying for my own steak once and the humiliation of double-buying once (My big purchases that year were rookie Ryan Mathews and Randy Moss who played for three teams.) Every other year, I've eaten for free. I'm the guy who brought ordering the shrimp entree as an appetizer into vogue:
"I'll have the shrimp scampi as my appetizer, please."
"Sir, you want the grilled shrimp appetizer with your steak?"
"No, I would like the full entree as an appetizer and also the 20-ounce NY steak."
Last year the conversation started that way with the following addendum:
"It says 'market price' for the surf and turf, how much is it?"
"Seventy-nine."
"Perfect."
Luckily for these serial buyers, the steakhouse (Taylor's in LA's Koreatown) is rather modestly priced. It'll still cost the double-buyer $400 for himself and two others, but it's not the life-altering tab we'd get at Mastros or some other high-end joint. Still, it's prime steak at an old-school Hollywood place, and the food is pretty good.
The league is standard scoring, non-PPR, but instead of team defense, we have three IDPs, one DL, one LB and one DB. It's one-point per tackle, three for a sack, five for a pick and six for a TD. There are 16 teams in the league, and we start one-QB, two-RB, three-WR, one-TE, one-K and the three IDPs. There are six bench spots.
Eight of the teams are in the Madison (Wisconsin) Division and eight are in the LA Division. Among the eight LA guys, the six in the sidebet are me, Jeff Erickson, Tim Schuler, Jason Thornbury, Josh Ross and the Vlad Sedler/Scott Jenstad team (how we're going to work out the eating and paying with a two-man team remains to be seen.)
Here are the results:
Team | Schoenke | $ | McKeown | Siegrist | Doria | |||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
QB | Ryan Tannehill | 9 | Peyton Manning | 22 | Philip Rivers | 12 | B. Roethlisberger | 27 |
RB | Matt Forte | 34 | Justin Forsett | 30 | Lamar Miller | 32 | Marshawn Lynch | 51 |
RB | Giovani Bernard | 16 | Andre Ellington | 34 | Todd Gurley | 22 | De. Williams | 5 |
WR | Emmanuel Sanders | 29 | Amari Cooper | 17 | Jordy Nelson | 40 | Julian Edelman | 15 |
WR | Randall Cobb | 33 | Sammy Watkins | 29 | Dez Bryant | 49 | Andre Johnson | 17 |
WR | Martavis Bryant | 30 | Marques Colston | 16 | Kendall Wright | 6 | B. Marshall | 21 |
TE | Greg Olsen | 18 | Jimmy Graham | 29 | Delanie Walker | 1 | Travis Kelce | 20 |
LB | Kiko Alonso | 1 | DeAndre Levy | 3 | C.J. Mosley | 2 | Jamie Collins | 2 |
DL | M. Wilkerson | 1 | Ndamukong Suh | 2 | Cameron Wake | 1 | Calais Campbell | 2 |
DB | D. Bucannon | 1 | Earl Thomas | 2 | Landon Collins | 1 | J. Cyprien | 2 |
K | Phil Dawson | 1 | Greg Zuerlein | 2 | Dan Bailey | 2 | Adam Vinatieri | 2 |
BE | B. Perriman | 10 | Percy Harvin | 6 | T. Bridgewater | 5 | Doug Martin | 17 |
BE | David Johnson | 7 | L. Taliaferro | 2 | Chris Ivory | 10 | Mike Wallace | 15 |
BE | Lance Dunbar | 1 | Brandon Coleman | 1 | Duke Johnson | 6 | Robert Turbin | 1 |
BE | Terrance West | 3 | Buck Allen | 2 | Doug Baldwin | 4 | Jerick McKinnon | 1 |
BE | James White | 3 | Tavon Austin | 2 | Roy Helu | 3 | Joe Flacco | 1 |
BE | Josh Robinson | 1 | Zac Stacy | 1 | Jeremy Langford | 4 | Charles Clay | 1 |
Liss | Merrill/Gay | Erickson | VanRiper | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
QB | Tom Brady | 14 | Andrew Luck | 40 | Eli Manning | 18 | Aaron Rodgers | 48 |
RB | Alfred Morris | 28 | T.J. Yeldon | 21 | Jeremy Hill | 47 | DeMarco Murray | 47 |
RB | L. Murray | 36 | Reggie Bush | 4 | A. Abdullah | 17 | Arian Foster | 8 |
WR | Antonio Brown | 46 | Alshon Jeffery | 33 | Mike Evans | 37 | Roddy White | 21 |
WR | DeAndre Hopkins | 35 | Odell Beckham | 45 | Nelson Agholor | 15 | Anquan Boldin | 8 |
WR | DeVante Parker | 7 | Marvin Jones | 6 | Jarvis Landry | 13 | Allen Hurns | 1 |
TE | Vernon Davis | 4 | Josh Hill | 8 | Jason Witten | 5 | R. Gronkowski | 42 |
LB | Lavonte David | 3 | Justin Houston | 1 | Paul Posluszny | 3 | Alec Ogletree | 1 |
DL | Aaron Donald | 3 | J.J. Watt | 14 | Robert Quinn | 3 | Everson Griffen | 1 |
DB | T.J. McDonald | 1 | Richard Sherman | 1 | H. Clinton Dix | 2 | Kam Chancellor | 1 |
K | Matt Bryant | 1 | Steven Hauschka | 2 | Justin Tucker | 2 | Nick Novak | 1 |
BE | Donte Moncrief | 9 | David Cobb | 3 | C.J. Spiller | 21 | Ryan Mathews | 15 |
BE | Dwayne Bowe | 6 | Seferian-Jenkins | 2 | Denard Robinson | 2 | James Starks | 1 |
BE | Chris Polk | 2 | Pierre Garcon | 5 | Brian Quick | 9 | Danny Amendola | 1 |
BE | Robert Griffin | 2 | Jay Cutler | 3 | Tyler Eifert | 1 | Sammie Coates | 1 |
BE | Stevie Johnson | 2 | Greg Jennings | 3 | Dwayne Allen | 2 | Miles Austin | 1 |
BE | Terrelle Pryor | 1 | Devin Funchess | 7 | Matt Jones | 1 | Ahmad Bradshaw | 1 |
Schuler | Puig | Ilk | O'Brien | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
QB | Cam Newton | 18 | Sam Bradford | 13 | C. Kaepernick | 21 | Drew Brees | 25 |
RB | C.J. Anderson | 40 | L. Blount | 16 | Adrian Peterson | 54 | Jamaal Charles | 52 |
RB | LeSean McCoy | 42 | Devonta Freeman | 14 | Mark Ingram | 27 | Jonathan Stewart | 20 |
WR | Golden Tate | 25 | Julio Jones | 46 | Calvin Johnson | 43 | Brandin Cooks | 28 |
WR | Michael Floyd | 15 | Jordan Matthews | 41 | Davante Adams | 20 | Kevin White | 7 |
WR | Torrey Smith | 14 | Larry Fitzgerald | 10 | Steve Smith | 11 | Kenny Stills | 15 |
TE | Jordan Cameron | 6 | Ladarius Green | 5 | Richard Rodgers | 1 | Julius Thomas | 9 |
LB | Luke Kuechly | 5 | Jelani Jenkins | 1 | D'Qwell Jackson | 1 | Bobby Wagner | 2 |
DL | Mario Williams | 3 | DeMarcus Ware | 1 | Fletcher Cox | 1 | Olivier Vernon | 1 |
DB | Eric Weddle | 3 | T.J. Ward | 1 | Barry Church | 1 | Charles Woodson | 1 |
K | S. Gostkowski | 2 | Blair Walsh | 1 | Mason Crosby | 2 | Dan Carpenter | 1 |
BE | Tevin Coleman | 14 | Shane Vereen | 6 | Michael Crabtree | 7 | Knile Davis | 7 |
BE | Andre Williams | 4 | Matthew Stafford | 15 | Fred Jackson | 2 | John Brown | 12 |
BE | Jonas Gray | 2 | Allen Robinson | 25 | Daniel Herron | 6 | Bishop Sankey | 9 |
BE | Pierre Thomas | 2 | Eric Ebron | 3 | Cord. Patterson | 1 | Terrance Williams | 5 |
BE | Kenny Britt | 1 | Khiry Robinson | 1 | Branden Oliver | 1 | Jay Ajayi | 1 |
BE | Cecil Shorts | 1 | Stevan Ridley | 1 | Marqise Lee | 1 | Phillip Dorsett | 4 |
Thornbury | Ross | Jenstad/Sedler | Lutterman | |||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
QB | Tony Romo | 20 | Jameis Winston | 3 | Matt Ryan | 19 | Russell Wilson | 25 |
RB | Carlos Hyde | 28 | Melvin Gordon | 41 | Eddie Lacy | 52 | Le'Veon Bell | 55 |
RB | Joseph Randle | 35 | Alfred Blue | 13 | Joique Bell | 9 | Frank Gore | 27 |
WR | A.J. Green | 45 | T.Y. Hilton | 30 | Kelvin Benjamin | 34 | Dem. Thomas | 44 |
WR | DeSean Jackson | 24 | Vincent Jackson | 21 | Keenan Allen | 31 | Eric Decker | 13 |
WR | Cody Latimer | 5 | Jeremy Maclin | 25 | Charles Johnson | 12 | Malcom Floyd | 3 |
TE | Coby Fleener | 2 | Owen Daniels | 6 | Kyle Rudolph | 1 | Mart. Bennett | 16 |
LB | Paul Worrilow | 1 | Sean Lee | 1 | NaVorro Bowman | 2 | Jerrell Freeman | 1 |
DL | Jerry Hughes | 2 | Carlos Dunlap | 2 | Chandler Jones | 2 | Ezekiel Ansah | 1 |
DB | Donte Whitner | 2 | Harrison Smith | 3 | Reshad Jones | 1 | Morgan Burnett | 4 |
K | Caleb Sturgis | 1 | Matt Prater | 1 | Cody Parkey | 2 | Connor Barth | 2 |
BE | Jaelen Strong | 4 | Isaiah Crowell | 13 | Rashad Jennings | 13 | D.Green-Beckham | 2 |
BE | Markus Wheaton | 4 | Darren McFadden | 5 | Brandon LaFell | 7 | Marcus Mariota | 1 |
BE | Tre Mason | 10 | Victor Cruz | 17 | Zach Ertz | 8 | Darren Sproles | 2 |
BE | Theo Riddick | 2 | Montee Ball | 5 | Andy Dalton | 2 | Antonio Gates | 2 |
BE | Nick Toon | 5 | Charles Sims | 8 | C. Artis-Payne | 3 | Danny Woodhead | 1 |
BE | Rueben Randle | 7 | Carson Palmer | 6 | Stedman Bailey | 2 | Ronnie Hillman | 1 |
I started out fine, buying Antonio Brown for $46 and Alfred Morris for $28, but for some reason, I backed off the bidding on players like Odell Beckham who went for $45, thinking I could shave a buck or two off and get a comparable Tier 1 WR or RB. That was a mistake, and one I knew better than to make. In auctions like these, the bargains so often come early, and it's wise to grab three premium players for two-thirds of your budget before bargain hunting later.
When the last remaining upper-tier player (Jeremy Hill) came out, I vowed to go up to the low-$40s on him, but other people were also in my shoes, and he went for $47 to Erickson. In retrospect, maybe I should have bid $48. Fortunately, once Hill was gone, I realized how dire the situation was and went to the mat on two third-tier players (DeAndre Hopkins for $35 and Latavius Murray for $36.) Would I rather have Beckham and $25 than those two? Yes. But at least I got the money out and landed two potential difference makers.
At the end of the draft, I made one other error. I had wanted Zach Ertz and had the money for him, but got into a bidding war on Dwayne Bowe, couldn't afford Ertz and settled for Vernon Davis (who I like but not as much as Ertz.) If you're wondering why on earth anyone would get into a bidding war and spend six precious late-auction dollars on Bowe, my third receiver slot was a combo of Donte Moncrief and DeVante Parker. Both have upside, but I needed five points a week from someone with a job while I'm waiting on them. It's a 16-team league, so getting 50-60 yards from your third wideout is perfectly acceptable.
I'm happy with the rest of my roster - Tom Brady for $14, pending his possible suspension reduction, felt like a good deal, and I liked getting Robert Griffin as my backup/early-season starter for $2. And watch out for Terrelle Pryor - he's 6-4, 233 and runs a sub-4.4 40. How hard can it be to learn route running?
For more on the Steak League Draft, you can listen to Jeff Erickson and me discuss it on the podcast. To subscribe to the podcast, click here.