Count Chocula choked on a clove of garlic in Week 2 while watching a sunrise and getting a wooden stake in the shape of a cross rammed through his cereal-loving heart.
After a shocking Week 1 win that netted me a blood-soaked Ezekiel Elliott, the ugly loss wasn't that surprising.
My Vampire roster was chock full of poor decisions en route to a 142.6 – 111.9 beating. I was not alone though, as the Vampires in my other two Vampire leagues both lost in decisive fashion as well – one to my powerhouse team and the other by over 70 points.
Count Chocula's downfall started with the QB decision. Not only did I dismiss Ryan FitzMagic's chance at a repeat performance, but I didn't even think it prudent to stash him on my bench. Instead I went with Jimmy Garoppolo over Matthew Stafford. I also had Alfred Morris and George Kittle going in a game that I thought would be more of a shootout. I had not, unfortunately, considered the possibility that San Fran would control the game and ultimately limit Jimmy G's attempts significantly (he only threw 26 freaking times).
Not adding Fitzpatrick was part of a mini theme of screw ups. Considering that the Vampire is essentially playing daily fantasy football and trying to get the biggest upside guys in its lineup, I probably should have at least rostered DeSean Jackson, even if I wasn't going to play him. Due to his concussion the week prior, I didn't expect him to suit up and by the time he was declared active I had already decided I was content with my roster – except for one late, very regrettable change. Because of the immense upside he possesses I was rostering O.J. Howard as my backup tight end even though it seems unnecessary to hold two tight ends on a Vampire roster. I ended up dropping him right before kickoff because I wanted to stash someone I thought might break out. No, it was not DJax or Fitz or Keelan Cole or anyone else that did squat in Week 2. I decided to dump Howard for David Njoku. I was surprised Njoku was dropped and felt he could start putting up big numbers with no Josh Gordon in the picture. It seems I overlooked the fact that Baker Mayfield had yet to steal the starting gig he so rightfully deserved.
So, let's fast forward to Week 3 and the current changes to my very fluid roster. One of the fun parts of being the Vampire – for now anyways – is getting the top waiver spot each week. That did allow me to add a guy I think can help me win a game or two. Because I already have Ezekiel Elliott, James Conner and Austin Ekeler, I decided not to add Giovani Bernard and instead go with a receiver that put on a clinic in Week 2. Cole was my top choice. So yeah, that sucked to have to do since I could have already stashed him and still gotten Gio or taken Howard back. Such is life as a Vampire.
In addition to Cole, I added Tyler Boyd and Kenny Stills (inexplicably dropped) to beef up my receiving corps. With my top two tailbacks locked in, my plan is to mostly stream high upside receivers until I add a starting RB off waivers or get another win and add a true No. 1 RB or WR. Speaking of trying to get that next W, let's take a look at my Week 3 matchup with an opponent that has two top prizes – Odell Beckham and Kareem Hunt. Since the Jets got out to a two-touchdown lead that they didn't lose until Mayfield went all Rookie of the Year on them, Quincy Enunwa has me off to a craptacular start.
Count Chocula – 7.7
QB – Matthew Stafford
RB – Ezekiel Elliott
RB – James Conner
WR – Quincy Enunwa
WR – Keelan Cole
TE – George Kittle
Flex – Kenny Stills
Flex – Austin Ekeler
DEF – Dallas
K – TBD
Bench:
Randall Cobb
Tyler Boyd
Tyler Lockett
DeVante Parker
Anthony Miller
Jordan Wilkins
Alfred Morris
Some Dude Named Zack – 0.0
QB – Aaron Rodgers
RB – Kareem Hunt
RB – Chris Thompson
WR – Odell Beckham
WR – Amari Cooper
TE – Austin Hooper
Flex – Kenny Golladay
Flex – Nelson Agholor
DEF – Baltimore
K – Justin Tucker
For those keeping score at home, it looks pretty damn likely that Count Chocula will be going hungry again this week.
Hopefully someone will take one of the many two-for-one trades I've offered involving two of my best guys not named Elliott or Conner so that I may add a regular starter and open bench space at the same time. As it stands, I've already got to drop someone for a kicker this week and there's about 4-5 guys just chilling in the free agent pool that I'd love to stash. Calvin Ridley, James White and Geronimo Allison top the list, so hopefully I won't run into another scenario where I regret not adding a guy and then having to make a tough choice come waiver time.
As much as it would pain me to do so because there is not a bigger believer in his talent than me, I may have to drop Miller before kickoff to add someone else. I want to be patient, but the one-week-season mentality the Vampire format fosters makes it tough. The Bears simply aren't utilizing him to his capabilities and are in general not even throwing the ball downfield. It's perplexing but with such a disruptive defense, it may not change anytime soon. The one thing I keep clinging to is that it is a keeper format and if Miller hits the way I know he can, it's possible I can keep him next year at the cost of a last round pick.
In the end, survival will probably win out over strategy for anyone that is not an immediate contributor. After all, sometimes you're just a Vampire trying to get some blood.
If you want to learn more about a Vampire league or just want thoughts on roster management, follow me and Tweet at me @Hoover_L_A.