Let's start this off on a negative note, because then we'll know things can only get better. Join me on this swim up the river of optimism.

The following players will not be a part of your fantasy draft in most leagues. Why? Because these dudes are playing overseas somewhere. Where? Let me tell you.

China
Who?: J.R. Smith, Wilson Chandler, Aaron Brooks, Kenyon Martin, Patty Mills, Dan Gadzuric, Josh Powell
Why aren't they returning?: The Chinese Basketball Association (CBA) decided that it was in their league's best interest not to allow fancy pants NBA players to bring their swerve over to China during the lockout and then bounce back to North America (What up Toronto!?) whenever the lockout ended. Therefore, the contracts these guys signed don't contain opt-out clauses. There was some speculation that the CBA teams might have agreed to some sideways agreements in which the teams secretly agreed to waive their NBA players at the end of the lockout. That's looking less and less likely. Beyond these facts, I don't know much. However, I don't know why buyouts aren't being considered of if they're possible. The deals these guys are on probably aren't anywhere near what they could get in the NBA. Why not pay $1 million to get out of your contract and come here and sign one for $8 million/yr?

Europe
Who and Why?: Some second-round draftees and foreign-born players are going to stay in Europe this season to get experience and stay off their NBA team's payroll. Kyle Singler is playing in Spain. Donatas Motiejunas will play the year in Poland. Sonny Weems has been in the NBA for a few seasons, but he went off and signed a contract with Zalgiris Kaunas early in the lockout and failed to secure an opt-out clause. Pretty much every player that went to play in Europe during the lockout made sure to get an opt-out clause, but Weems' agent screwed the pooch on that one. So, Weems will spend the rest of the season in Lithuania doing this. LIthuanian dancing. All the kids are doing it. I'm sure there are more guys stuck over in Europe, but they must not matter cause I can't think of them right now. Help me out in the comments below if you're feeling frisky.

The end of the lockout replaced the pain of living in No Basketball Land by relocating us immediately into Trade Rumors Hell.

According to every news outlet's sources, every player in the NBA will be traded for another player in the NBA on Dec. 9. Specifically though, the two biggest names getting tossed around the room like a little people basketball team are Dwight Howard and Chris Paul. Those little people basketball player dudes are awesome, and now we know where Nate Robinson can go play if the Thunder buy him out.

Dwight Howard apparently wants to play for the Knicks or in Los Angeles. Funniest part of this story is that LA doesn't just mean the Lakers. He would consider playing for the Clippers. Another weird twist, Chris Paul would be okay playing for the Clippers, too. Blake "The Earth Quake" Griffin has some pull.

No one has been foolish enough to suggest both of these guys will end up in the same city, but the prevailing sentiment being floated out there is that the Magic and Hornets want to get their respective star traded before the season, so they don't have to deal with anything like the media circus that surrounded the Melodrama from last season. Further stirring the pot was a report from today stating that Paul told the Hornets he will not sign an extension with them and wants to be traded to the Knicks. For all of us, I hope these superstars get traded before the season starts. Otherwise, the talking heads on ESPN won't shut up about it until the trade deadline.

Jonas Jerebko, the great Swedish hope of the Pistons, missed all of last season with an Achilles injury, but he's currently 150 percent healthy despite the calculations on my abacus confirming that is literally inconceivable. If the 73 games he started as a rookie two seasons ago are any indication, Jerebko should be the Pistons' starting power forward to begin this season. I don't want to wax poetic about his potential, but he could contribute in points, rebounds, and possibly steals and threes if given enough minutes. Put Jerebko on your watch lists for the preseason.

Mike Miller's bad luck persists. He underwent hernia surgery two days ago and will be out of action for the next 4–8 weeks. Several of the Heat's beat writers are predicting the team will use the amnesty provision that's being included in the new collective bargaining agreement to waive Miller and create enough room on their salary cap to allow them to sign a free agent center to the full mid-level exception. They're hoping to sign Nene or Samuel Dalembert.

Rudy Fernandez supposedly wants to to stay in Spain, but the Mavs traded for him on draft night and aren't going to let him out of his deal. Not everyone is buying into Rudy's move to the Mavs as big as I am, but I truly believe Rick Carlisle is going to start him at shooting guard (or maybe small forward) and let him play through any of the perceived deficiencies in his game. He's one of the most exciting players in the NBA, but the Trail Blazers were too worried about winning to let him be awesome for 38 minutes a night. Watch this.

Quick Hits on my way out:

• Toney Douglas' troublesome shoulder injury from last season has completely healed.
• Kirk Hinrich's shoulder isn't doing so well. He underwent surgery in November, and Jeff Teague's stock is rising as a result.
• If and when Andrei Kirilenko returns to the NBA, he'll be out for a little while with a broken nose and a shoulder injury. Reports are somewhat conflicting on this, so I'm not buying it wholesale.
• Andrew Bynum and Charlie Villanueva have suspensions to start the season. Bynum will sit the first five game and Chucky the first four. Remember that, yo.
• Greg Oden will not be ready at the start of the season. Big shocker there.
• Nikola Vucevic, Sixers' rookie big man, made a good impression on coach Doug Collins with his play overseas. Spencer Hawes may be on his way out of town, so don't be surprised if the rookie gets a look at possibly starting at center. It's a personal hope right now, but I'm willing to throw it out there being that we haven't even had a real practice, yet.
• Anthony Morrow's knee is in good shape.
• Amir Johnson is still getting into shape from his ankle surgery that sidelined him for about five months. Ed Davis should have a leg up on Johnson for the starting power forward job if Johnson is indeed hampered at all and still getting into shape. Davis should be a mid-to-late round target in drafts right now.

It's late, and I can't think of anything else right now. You got anything? Who are you guys targeting as sleepers this year? Who do you think is going to bust? How terrible do the Bucks, Bobcats, Pistons, and Hornets rosters look. Dear lord, those teams are hideous.

Deuces, and go Pistons!