In other words, if you had virtually no chance of keeping your job or getting another one anyway, and the season was already lost.

(1) Get an olympic gymnast - those guys who do the floor exercises. Near the goal line, have the guy start 20 yards back - at the 25 or so, and start his running, jumping, flipping, cartwheeling until he gets to the backfield just as the ball is snapped. The quarterback flips the ball to him, and at this point, he's spinning about 10 feet up in the air, easily over the defenders below. Of course, if a defender did penetrate and hit him on the way up, he'd probably die.

(2) Get a soccer playing quarterback preferably, but even the punter or kicker would do. But let's use the quarterback. It's fourth and 23 with two minutes left - instead of trying to throw for the first down, have the guy get the ball in the shotgun formation, roll out and punt the ball, not up into the air, but sideways like a soccer player might do if he were trying to shoot or cross a ball in midair. Boot it 70 mph sideways into the teeth of the defense, who it would hit and bounce off for a first down when the offense (who knew the kick was coming) recovered it. Of course, it would be easy to miss the defense, but remember, he's self-kicking it, and it's something you could practice. Plus those D-lineman are pretty big targets, but you'd have to get it in front of the line of scrimmage. If you could refine the accuracy, maybe you could even hit a linebacker in the side of the leg with it.

(3) Try to score a TD on the on-side kick. The kicker kicks it as usual looking for the big hop on the second bounce, but the kicking team, instead of trying to catch it and fall on it - sends one player a few yards BEYOND the receiving team players and the guy who gets to the ball bats it forward to him at its peak.