Vernon Davis in Week 3 was the latest example of the squeaky wheel getting the grease. He'll be fine moving forward, but his situation limits his upside compared to other tight ends like Jermichael Finley and Rob Gronkowski…Liked the thought process of the play call asking Andy Lee to take a safety at the end of Sunday's game, but it still left two seconds remaining, resulting in a kick return anyway (although not a punt)…Cedric Benson has gotten 3.8 YPC or fewer in 11 of his past 14 games.
Well that's a rather bizarre way to end a soccer match.
Cam Newton came crashing back down to earth, but realize the weather conditions were pretty bad Sunday, and the fact he's such a force rushing inside the 10 gives him a higher floor than most rookie QBs. I'm still a buyer (and this coming from someone who thought he'd be a bust in the NFL)…Deji Karim has been awful. The Rashad Jennings injury looks like a blessing for MJD owners, assuming the latter can stay healthy of course…DeAngelo Williams has produced 3.15 yards-per-touch this season, while Jonathan Stewart has produced 6.38 (including a crazy 61-yard catch Sunday that was called back after a review that was shaky at best). Seriously, how ridiculous were the contracts given out to Williams, Chris Johnson and Frank Gore this summer? I fully expect all three to improve, of course, but if this doesn't teach organizations not to overpay this position, I guess nothing will…The Jaguars have been in the red zone one time this season.
This guy sounds more like Eddie Vedder than Eddie Vedder does. Pretty crazy.
Although Matthew Stafford entered Week 3 having yet to take a sack, he had taken a bunch of hits, so Detroit's offensive line remains a concern. He took five sacks Sunday, and the team struggles with run blocking as well…Calvin Johnson has become the only player in NFL history with two touchdowns in each of the first three games of the season…The Vikings have outscored their opponents 54-7 in the first half this year. They are 0-3.
What a brutal loss for Kenny Britt owners. He looked sure to return second round value (at least), so even though he didn't cost as much during drafts, it's a massive blow. Nate Washington looks like the primary beneficiary and must be owned in all fantasy leagues as a result…Speaking of fantasy owners getting screwed, how about Knowshon Moreno being active yet seeing zero snaps? That's not ideal…The Titans have yet to return a single kickoff this season…The loss of Britt is huge, but I must say, I in no way saw Matt Hasselbeck at this age, changing offensive schemes and moving to a tougher division posting an 8.3 YPA mark with a 69.6 completion percentage over his first three games.
Customer pulls shotgun at Taco Bell over lack of hot sauce.
I'm beginning to think Reggie Bush might not be cut out to be a feature back in the NFL…Joe Haden has turned into a shutdown corner who often shadows opposing teams' No. 1 WR, so don't panic Brandon Marshall owners…Montario Hardesty looked plenty competent, so while Peyton Hillis can't be blamed for missing a game with a severe case of strep throat, the long-term consequences could result in more of a committee.
If you follow the narrative surrounding Eli Manning this season, it would seem he's been a disaster, when the truth is he's been the opposite. Manning has produced seven touchdowns with just two turnovers over the first three games, posting a ridiculously good 8.8 YPA mark with a depleted WR corps…Michael Vick already has seven fumbles this season…Jason Pierre-Paul is a beast who looks like a man playing amongst boys. What a draft pick by the Giants…Can someone explain why New York went for two up 20-16 with 8:07 left in the fourth quarter? Math is hard.
Bruce Bochy apparently decided to give an interview while on the toilet, which could also be a metaphor for the Giants' season.
The Saints have scored 34.6 points per game this season, facing two of the top four defenses in points against last year (Green Bay and Chicago) as well as a Houston defense that had allowed just 20 points over the first two games of this season. It wouldn't be crazy to rank the Saints atop any power ratings board right now…Houston dominated for stretches in Week 3, but the red zone killed them. Can't win settling for so many field goals…Once again, can someone explain why New Orleans went for two up 30-26 with 7:10 left in the fourth quarter? The teams totaled 73 points in a game that Vegas pegged as the highest scoring of the week, so you're telling me Sean Payton was more concerned about the Texans kicking two field goals without his own team scoring than a Houston touchdown? Huh? The attempt was successful, but it predictably had no benefit later on, and if they had been unsuccessful, they would have been down three points instead of two after Houston scored a TD with 4:13 left.
Man selling his own thumb to save haunted train museum.
I'm never one to look ahead in survivor pools, but it became apparent that was a mistake last week after having used San Diego and Pittsburgh during the first two weeks, as they were the obvious choices in Week 3. I went with New England, fully aware there was a good chance I'd lose, so I have no defense when I admit I gloated when they were up 21-0. Serves me right. What a miserable defense. And while I want to hate on Tom Brady for throwing as many picks Sunday as he did all of last season, clearly a couple weren't his fault, and Chad Ochocinco is dead to me after his sure touchdown catch was dropped with 8:12 left. The Pats ended up scoring on the drive, but obviously the time difference mattered. Put a fork in Ochocinco, he's done…The Bills are the first team in NFL history to win back-to-back games in which they have trailed by 18 (or more) points…Does anyone know what school Ryan Fitzpatrick went to in college?...Brady was 13 yards short of becoming the first QB ever to throw for 400 yards in three straight games…BenJarvus Green-Ellis played just 28-of-75 snaps, but Fred Jackson is a top-10 fantasy RB…In PPR formats, Wes Welker might be the No. 1 overall fantasy player…Why did New England tackle Fred Jackson at the one-yard line? I don't want to go into a tirade after that decision already raised my blood pressure immensely and cost at least two years of my life, but it's safe to say those who made that tackle didn't exactly impress on the Wonderlic. Honestly, it was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in sports.
These people are absolutely insane.
Torrey Smith's first three catches in the NFL all went for touchdowns during the first quarter of Baltimore's win Sunday. A true deep threat, the rookie finally gives Joe Flacco a downfield weapon he's never had throughout his career. With Flacco possessing one of the strongest arms in football, it should be a good fit. Smith will likely be inconsistent as a rookie, and his role may be reduced when Lee Evans returns from his ankle injury, but his future looks bright…Ed Dickson continues to quietly be more and more involved in the Ravens' offense, so he's a flier to add if you need help at tight end…The Rams were my pick to win the NFC West this season, and while I acknowledged their schedule early on was tough, Sunday's game has become something of a must-win with upcoming trips to Green Bay and Dallas next on the docket after a bye. And even then, they get the Saints at home and two more road games following (with a trip to Pittsburgh in Week 16 as well). Seven wins may once again win the NFC West.
Hit man falls in love with victim, so he faked her death with ketchup.
The Raiders became the first team since 1995 to win a game with zero third-down conversions Sunday. No team bucks trends quite like Oakland...I was a Shonn Greene backer before the season, but I admit, he's a bum…Even as a "hater," I have to give LaDainian Tomlinson credit for what he's done so late in his career….Mark Sanchez seems like a fantasy afterthought, but he's gotten 8.0 YPA and produced seven touchdowns over three games. If the Jets' running game continues to struggle, the third-year QB becomes a fantasy option.
Check out Virginia's Marquis Weeks' explanation for his 100-yard kickoff return.
Ryan Mathews totaled 149 yards and two touchdowns on 25 touches during the Chargers' win Sunday. Mike Tolbert, meanwhile, has gotten just 2.6 YPC on the year and has seen his carries dwindle by the week. Tolbert isn't going to completely disappear from the offense, but it's important to note both of Mathews' scores came from inside the five, as he's now being trusted in the red zone and in pass protection. He's missed time thanks to injuries in each of the past four seasons dating back to college, so while all running backs carry some health risk, Mathews might present more than usual. However, he's clearly shown elite skills and when you combine that with possibly the best situation in the NFL in San Diego, you get top-three upside…Antonio Gates' foot injury just won't go away, and it appears it's once again going to be a season-long problem. If he somehow returns in a week or two and puts up a decent game, try to trade him. This is a problem that's not going away any time soon…So Todd Haley running his offensive coordinator out of town wasn't a good thing?...Kansas City had zero first downs in the first half (33 yards total).
Man dies from spontaneous combustion.
I'm done trying to predict Green Bay's backfield for the time being, although James Starks makes for a fine fantasy play in Week 4 if Ryan Grant (kidney) is out…Matt Forte is on pace to finish the year with 117 receptions and 1,531 receiving yards. And 635 rushing yards…Interesting how the Bears decided to unveil possibly the cleverest punt return in NFL history when they were down two scores late. Incidentally, the phantom holding call cost me a backdoor cover.
I essentially wrote Sidney Rice off last week, which appears to be a mistake. He had eight catches for 109 yards Sunday, and while it was in a plus matchup, he's going to be a target monster in a Seattle offense with no other viable options. Rice's shoulder injury could be a season long problem, but he looked fine during his debut and isn't expected to be listed on the injury report this week…So I guess it's Alfonso Smith and not Chester Taylor backing up Chris Wells. Get well soon Beanie!
Fleeing driver calls police to tell them to stop chasing him.
LeGarrette Blount has 18 carries for 40 yards (2.2 YPC) during the first half of games this season and 24 carries for 127 yards (5.3 YPC) after halftime. He's a volume guy…Matt Ryan has 27 touchdowns with 25 turnovers and a 6.3 YPA over 20 outdoor games during his career…After posting a 15:1 TD:INT ratio over the second half of last season, Josh Freeman has already been picked off four times this year.
Entering the final day of the season leading my home fantasy baseball league, I watched in horror as my opponent gained two points in WHIP during the last inning of Gio Gonzalez's outing, pushing him past me into first place. It doesn't get any more frustrating than that, considering it was literally the last game being played for the year, and we have an 1,800-innings cap (tough to move the needle in WHIP at that stage, let alone gain two full points in one inning of action). FML.
In the summer, Mike Wallace amusingly stated his goal was to reach 2,000 receiving yards this season, but the joke may ultimately be on us, as he's currently on pace to surpass that mark. In fact, dating back to last year, he's broken the century mark in six consecutive games. One of the league's premier deep threats, Wallace has also racked up 21 catches so far this year after getting just 60 all of last season, as he's been targeted heavily. While Pittsburgh's offensive line is a problem, Wallace looks unstoppable, and it would be hard not to treat him as a top-five fantasy wide receiver…Kerry Collins has completed just 49.0 percent of his passes and gotten an anemic 4.9 YPA with the Colts this season, and his job as starter looks short-lived, as Curtis Painter was an immediate upgrade after replacing him Sunday night. Collins is questionable to play Monday night after dealing with a concussion, but there's no questioning his performance this year, which has been a disaster. It's arguable no team in sports would be as affected by losing a player as the Colts have been with Peyton Manning.
Angry 91-year-old throws bucket of urine at meddlesome teens.
Watching four botched snaps out of shotgun from Dallas was comical Monday night. Seriously, they were at home. How does that happen?...What a play on 4th-and-21. Before that though, Rex Grossman clearly fumbled but was ruled down. The ref should always err on the side that's later reviewable in close cases like that…Washington called a timeout with 2:03 left in the fourth quarter, and while normally it's a good idea to take a T.O. before the two minute warning, in this case, it gave Dallas the option of passing (although for some reason they didn't)…Dallas became the first team in NFL history to play in nine consecutive games decided by three points or fewer.