With England manager Fabio Capello's name now linked to the Inter Milan job (surely by the agents of… Fabio Capello), England is scrambling to make sure it can convince Capello to allow the country to overpay him through 2012 and beyond. Capello is under contract to England at GBP 6 million/yr. (roughly $9 million/yr.) but the English FA fears he might bolt after the World Cup to Inter to work five times as hard for half the money.

Yes, that's as ridiculous as it sounds. Managing a national team in Europe is eight hard weeks' work each year, plus six weeks more if your team qualifies for a summer tournament in even-numbered years. (You do want that extra six weeks—saves you from getting the sack.) Your players are motivated. The rest of the year, you're expected to turn up in luxury boxes, all expenses paid, to watch your prospective players play for their clubs. There are a few black-tie dinners to go to. If you manage England, sex scandals are optional. If you manage France, those are generally left to the players, but you can use a post-match press conference to ask for your girlfriend's hand in marriage.

Managing a club is long hours year round, generally for much less money. Your players are on guaranteed contracts. The guys with the worst attitudes always make more money than you do, and they never let you or the papers forget it. No matter who you are, you're a three-game losing streak away from getting fired. (So is the national team manager, but his team plays eight games a year, and yours plays 50.) Your best players get called up to the national team, and sometimes return injured. If you get caught in a tabloid sting, you're done: no club chairman wants to displease the supporters by keeping you on.

Don't get me wrong: I'd love to manage a club team. I never played senior-level pro soccer, so I gave up on that dream years ago. But the notion that Fabio Capello would leave the England job for Inter Milan is ridiculous. If he is actually contemplating it, England are better off without him: he'd be showing the first signs of losing his mind.